*Black*

Somehow all the thought provoking stuff happens at work, or maybe I'm just so bored that I have no choice but to ponder on the strange things that happen in a dress shop.

So my boss attempts to explain how a silver dress looked better on a black girl than a white girl in her broken English. She's Korean, so I'm waiting for the words to stumble out. She actually did fine, but when she got to the word "black" she whispered it. Why? I am so confused. It's not a bad word. Good God how do you go about having intelligent conversation?  I can picture it: In of A-F-R-I-C-A where there are mostly [black] people, most of them are "fairly below the poverty line".

Granted, most black people are not even from Africa. They are not African Americans. They are American American, just as I am not European since nobody in my family has stepped foot in Europe since it was like, Pangaea. I am not Caucasian either--I'm not from that Germanic region. I'm actually from Italian background. Therefore I am white, making my best friend of darker skin black. I am also a red head and she has black hair, although my other friend is a brunette. I am short, but my boyfriend is tall. I am a smartass and those who are not are boring.

Fact it, these are all descriptive words with no need to create unnecessary uneasiness. Let's save the taboo for sex. Its funnier that way. 

Last night my room mate and I made Oreo Milkshakes and sat down to watch re-runs of old Nickelodeon shows that are slowly coming back to day-time television. 

So sitting down to the TV we clicked on The Rugrats,whilst mocking the 90's outfits and jargon, we noticed that one of the characters had the symbol for female on her shirt. 

We remarked that when young, we had no idea what that symbol even meant. Watching it now, however, we noticed that her character was a single parent of twins. At first we considered it empowering, but then we realized how incredibly insulting it was that none of the other characters seemed to be portrayed as pro-women, and coincidentally all the other characters were married. Why is it that singularity seems to be a requirement for feminism? 

Just something to think about when watching TV. 

4 in 10

Today I read a statistic on the National Women's Law Center blog that stated that 4 in 10 women are the breadwinners of their families. 4 in 10 is 40%, which is nearly 50%, which is almost half. Obvious, yes, but astounding nonetheless.

I found this so interesting because it doesn't just mean that more women are going out into the work place, but that more men are staying home. In my mind I instantly connected this statistic (and the idea that more men are staying home) to the argument about gay marriage and adoption by gay couples. How is a straight stay-at-home-dad any different than a gay stay-at-home-dad?

I also found this statistic encouraging, not only because it's now more socially acceptable and even respectable for a woman to make more than her partner, but that family dynamics are becoming more diverse.

This morning while listening to Morning Edition on NPR (a routine of mine) I listened to a great segment about women's involvement in the new Middle East.

Hillary Clinton argues in the segment that when women aren't at the table when big decisions, like drafting a new constitution in Egypt, are being made then the country is really turning their backs on haf the population. She added that this movement needs to be intertwined in the democratic movements in the Middle East.

This made me instantly consider a topic that was discussed way back in my high school U.S. History class--how do we go about making change? Do we do it in intervals so that the population has time to adjust, or do we go on radical campaigns while the timing is most opportune?

Would it have been such a terribly radical hardship on the American people if women were given the right to vote when black men were? As crazy as it may sound, what if the 13th, 15th, and 19th Amendments were actually written as just one amendment? You know, in a way that would explicitly state that when you are given equal rights under the law (being identified as a person under the law and not just 3/5 of one, or property of one) the right to vote was actually included in that very same law.

As I look at Egypt and the similar budding democracies in the region, and consequently reflect on our own struggle for independence over 200 years ago, I can't help but think that there's something important about radical change that comes with upheavals. Why can't the fight for democracy and fair government include women? I don't think it would throw the overall goal way off base to include all the people this time around.

Today a mother and daughter came to try on dresses at the Bridal and Formal I work at.

This mother was insane-- I'm convinced. She even had the wild, untamed, hair of a stereotypical crazy person. She forced her daughter (who verbally and non-verbally expressed reluctance) to try on eleven, yes eleven, dresses. Do you know what it's like to try on eleven prom dresses? It's almost as painful as getting a cavity drilled. There's zippers and corsets and miles of tulle and straps and buckles and of course the complete embarrassment of a crazy person for a mother shaking her head disapprovingly and snottily commenting on her daughter's lack of enthusiasm at the gym.

First of all, the poor child broke out into hives. Hives! Secondly, what gives anyone the right to comment on body type while trying on factory made all-size-fits-none dresses? People wonder where eating disorders come from.

It really breaks my heart to witness something like this. It's so easy for girls in our society to set their confidence on beauty, so when they fail to meet the impossible single standard of "beauty" (and inevitably they will) they are left with nothing.

When you build your life around one thing and it one day disappears, then you're left with nothing, and too few people have the mindset to move forward.